Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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