there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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