She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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