I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
