So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
