ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I haven't been this sober since birth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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