And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think my moral compass just broke
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
