I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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