Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
