I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize