he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
