GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
