she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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