Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
