you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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