I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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