so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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