I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
