I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
