Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
