Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
