Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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