So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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