He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
