Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
