so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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