ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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