my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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