ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
