OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he fucked my hip out of place.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
