I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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