i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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