So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
