I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize