Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
