At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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