why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
