In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
