You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
