I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
