she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
