Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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