I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
