Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
