Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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