I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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