You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
