just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
