You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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