you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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