i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
