Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
