put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
