I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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