She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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