The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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