My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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