operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
