I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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