bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
