after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize