Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
