he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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