I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
