is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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