Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
