i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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