I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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